I distinctly remember a time in my life when I thought, “My ideal life would be one where I didn’t have to set an alarm.”
I was thinking about being able to sleep in, sleep until I woke up.
Unfortunately, I have the life I once, foolishly, wished for. As if by some trickster genie in a bottle, I have gotten my wish and it’s not what I expected.
I rarely set my alarm clock anymore. Instead, I get woken up 360 days a year by my kids. Be careful what you wish for.
Today was one of the 5 days a year that I woke of my own accord, and that’s because my children, in a bizarre coincidence, both slept in this morning. I woke around 7:45am shocked that it was an hour and 15 min later that my usual wake up kid-call.
I share it below for your commiseration.
Lyrics by Josh Stearns and Erica Carlson
I never set my alarm clock anymore
I wake up before the dawn, I get up early
And I’m not proud of my outfit
It’s three am
And the baby’s screaming
And every minute’s like diapers, Thomas, splashin’ in the bathtub
Juice stains, snack traps, screamin’ in the minivan
They don’t care, we can’t remember the last time we dreamed
But everybody’s like swaddles, white noise, sleeping with your baby
Warm milk, rocking, let them cry it out now
We don’t care, we haven’t slept in a couple years.