My best piece of marriage advice- which I just gave my best friend yesterday when she told me her hubby did nothing for their 7th wedding anniversary (!)- is make your expectations clear!
When an occasion is coming up, my husband, Mac, and I have a conversation about it. If I want a big deal made of it, I say so. If I want to play it low-key, I say so. We decide who will be in charge of making the plans, how much we want to spend, etc.
Now, keep in mind, this only works if you are honest! If I say, “I don’t want to spend a lot of money, just get me a card,” I mean it! I don’t say it, then get mad when all I get is a card.
Basically, I know he’s not a mind-reader!
For instance, we have had occasions (like our wedding anniversary) where I’ve told him I thought we should just exchange cards. He agreed. I was happy with my cards (1 funny, 1 sappy) and he was happy with his. We’ve also had occasions where I want us to make a fuss (like this past Valentine’s Day- fancy dinner, but no flowers since I think they are WAAY too expensive on V Day).
This approach has saved us a lot of conflict. I’m not disappointed, my feelings aren’t hurt, and he isn’t blamed for lacking the psychic powers necessary to read my mind!
And since I’m guessing that most of the bloggers particpiating in SUYL are women, thought this article would provide some insight into the male perspective! Seven Things Your Husband Wants to Tell You