How About We: Date Day

On Sunday Mac and I had a Date Day.  Not a Date Night, a Date Day.  An entire 10 hour chunk of time that was just the two of us, no kids, doing stuff together- like eating a meal, going for a walk, shopping, etc.

I jokingly called it “Mac Day” because I’d organized it to be things that Mac liked.  He’s the stay at home parent, and he does nice things for me daily (packing my lunch, running errands, bringing me home flowers for no reason, etc.), so I wanted to reciprocate.  However, since he’s a guy, I can’t just bring home flowers.  So, I planned a day- all of it a surprise for him.  He knew when we were leaving and that we’d be in the city, but otherwise, he was in the dark.

I planned a whole day in Manhattan using HowAboutWe.com (and no, this isn’t a sponsored post or anything!).  I happened to notice a Sponsored Post from them on my Twitter feed because it mentioned bacon- specifically Baconery (a bacon bakery).  Mac likes bacon.  I wanted to take him to the Baconery.  So, I clicked through and explored HowAboutWe.com.  They had so many cool date ideas I thought Mac would like, that I actually paid for the membership so I could book them!

I think it actually worked out to be a good deal financially because much of what we did on our Date Day was free with our membership.  Since we live in the burbs of NYC, I’m not sure it makes sense to keep paying monthly for the membership, but perhaps a few months out of the year, when there are dates we like, it would be worth it.

So, here’s what we did!

Our first stop was Baconery on the Upper West Side for a late lunch.  In a word, yum.

Some of the food we tried- at Baconery, Murray’s, and Bees Knees.

Our HowAboutWe “Bacon Me Crazy” date entitled us to drinks, sandwiches, “bacons” (ie a strip of bacon dipped in chocolate), and baked goods to take home.  I got the Wilbur (basically a BLT with avocado), and Mac got the Elvis (bacon, banana, honey).  For dessert, I had a bacon strip dipped in chocolate with rainbow sprinkles, and Mac got bacon strip dipped in chocolate sprinkled with more bacon (did I mention he likes bacon?).  There was a jazz duo (Beautiful Pussycats) playing while we dined cafe style.  After that, we were stuffed, so we got a chocolate peanut butter bacon cookie and a chocolate bacon Rice Krispy Treat to go.

From there, we headed all the way down to the West Village where we would spend the rest of the day.  I didn’t want us to feel rushed, but I also didn’t want us to feel bored, like we had a lot of time to kill, so I chose to book a Stray Boots Greenwich Village scavenger hunt- again through HowAboutWe’s “Urban Adventure” date.

This worked out really great.  Since the rest of our scheduled activities were happening in the West Village, we could do the scavenger hunt at our leisure, in between the other scheduled activities.  It was fun to wander less than aimlessly, with a purpose, and explore the area (although at the end of the day Mac and I agreed that we weren’t sure we would have paid full price for it had it not been included in our HowAboutWe membership).

So, standing under the arch in Washington Square park, we started the scavenger hunt.

Just some of the sites we saw on our Stray Boots Greenwich Village Scavenger Hunt.

At 4:30, we took a break at the Bees Knees Baking Company.  Our HowAboutWe “What’s the Buzz?“date included a drink and two cake cups each.  We chose red velvet, honey bourbon, banana marshmallow, and chocolate peanut butter.  We shared the red velvet and honey bourbon at the bakery, and took the other two home.  We enjoyed sitting and people watching at the bar facing the front windows, and it was nice to sit and take a break; however, we both felt the cake cups were just OK, not anything spectacular.

After our little break, we resumed the scavenger hunt.  We were both thrilled when it took us to Murray’s Cheese Shop.  Mac and I love us some stinky cheese, and Murray’s is the place to go for any and all cheese (except maybe American Cheese?).  Since we were there, we decided to try some cheeses.  A friendly and knowledgeable cheese monger gave us samples of several Aged Goudas and we settled on Aged Goat Gouda and Roomano and took home two big hunks of cheese.

After all the sampling at Murray’s, it was time for our next stop- the highlight of my ‘Mac Day’ festivities- Goorin Brothers Hat Shop for our “Hat Trick” date.

Ages ago, I had recalled Mac saying that he’d really like a hat, but was never sure what fit him, how it was supposed to look, etc.  So, I figured that this “Hat Trick” date would be perfect.  Surely a hat shop that had been around since the 1800s would know what he should get, and have it in a size that fit him.

He was totally taken aback that I’d remembered, and totally stoked to find a hat.

The sales guy offered us Bourbon while we browsed (part of the date) and tried on hats.  He offered suggestions on what would work, what fit, told us the history of the various hats as well as the hat shop.  In the end, Mac narrowed it down to two different hats and wound up choosing the first hat he’d put on when we first walked in (made all the nicer by the substantial discount our date entitled us to).  I think he looks quite dashing in it, and am looking forward to occasions on which he can wear it.

Goorin Brothers had plenty of stuff for the ladies as well, but this was “Mac Day” so I only browsed for myself!

With hat in hand, we left Goorin Brothers and picked up our scavenger hunt where we left off, shortly completing it in Washington Square Park near where we had started.  At that point it was almost 7pm, so we decided to see if we could be seated at the restaurant early for our 8pm reservation (and knowing it was an ungodly early hour for dinner in NYC, we didn’t have trouble doing so).

Another HowWeMet date (“Crave Worthy“) was our dinner at The Quarter.  We had a smokey tomato bisque with grilled brie croutons, wine, and two burgers with fries.  Everything was delish (although not amazing enough that we’d make a return trip)- and the menu board had several intriguing items.

With that, our Date Day was over and we headed back home.  Our favorite dates- and the places we’d return on our own- were definitely Baconery and Goorin Brothers.  The Bees Knees and scavenger hunt were fun, but I’m not sure that we’d pay for them outside the HowAboutWe membership.  That said, Stray Boots has a Museum of Natural History scavenger hunt that might be fun to do (since we have a family membership to the museum).

The final surprise, for both of us, was that the kids were already asleep when we got home!  A big thank you to my mom for babysitting!

It was really nice to get to spend a rare day alone together.  It was also a trip doing new and different things together.  Now that we have two kids, opportunities for adventures seem few and far between (having been replaced with parenting misadventures it would seem!).  I’m looking forward to Nemo being weaned so that we can perhaps get an entire weekend alone together!

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It just so happens that our date, and this post coincided with Kelly’s Show Us Your Life:  Date Ideas!

Parenting: It’s all a matter of scale

A fellow scimom (i.e. scientist+mother) posted this on Facebook and generated a few funny retorts.

Source: PhdComics.com

My response- “Looks about right.”  My daughter is particularly adept at taking me from elated to enraged and back again in no time flat.

Another response- “I wish it had a time scale.”  That comment cracked me up.  I wonder when it will level off/even out, if ever.

It also reminded me of this post on Geek in Heels, Average Happiness vs Transcendent Moments, where she summarizes a TED talk:  ”Let’s talk parenting taboos” by Rufus Griscom and Alisa Volkman (of Nerve and Babble) about the highs and lows of parental happiness.

A day in the life of a Sci-Mom

My first post on this blog was a ‘day in the life’ post (you can read it here).  I re-read it recently (inspired by Kelly’s Show Us Your Life series), and so much has changed since May of 2011! Thus, I’ve decided to repeat it.

Yesterday was a pretty average day (for a more thorough accounting, see here):

Morning at home- wake, nurse Nemo, put dinner in the crock-pot, get Mabel washed up and dressed, get ready for work, kiss hubby and baby, gas up the car, drop Mabel at preschool, and head off to work.

Day at work- try to cure cancer, work on poster for upcoming national meeting, lunch meeting, rush home.

Evening at home- nurse baby, cook the rest of dinner, tag team baths for both kids with Mac, sing lullabies, say prayers, tuck in Mabel, nurse Nemo, tuck in Nemo, tuck Mabel in again, and again, and again until she’s finally asleep, take 5 min for myself (i.e. work on this post), go to bed.

My little family, Thanksgiving 2012

The abridged version of who I am- I’m happily married to Mac*, my husband of 4+ years; we’re raising our 3 year old daughter Mabel* and 9 month old son Nemo*; we live in the suburbs of NYC; now, after decades of schooling, I have my dream job at a biotech company doing cancer research.

I started this blog almost 2 years ago, and it’s been a lot of fun.  I started it because I love reading other people’s blogs, keeping up with their lives, trying their recipes, learning from their experiences, enjoying their photos and stories.  So, I thought I’d give it a whirl, with a science spin.

I’m blessed with a wonderful husband who juggles freelance work and being a stay at home dad (which has major perks and lets me work full time at the aforementioned dream job). I’m enamored of my preschooler who brings joy to everyone she encounters (which makes me jealous of the time I miss with her while at aforementioned dream job). I can’t get enough of my little guy and cherish the time I spend nursing him in the evenings after Mabel is in bed.  I’m enjoying married life, motherhood, and (for the most part) my research. I’m really looking forward to Spring which means many weekends at the family camp in the Catskills.

Online I love reading ‘mommy’ blogs and science blogs, I get worked up over the public misunderstanding of science, I shop for bargains, and I blog about the science side of motherhood (like cord blood banking, breast feeding, vaccinations, C-sections, VBACs, etc).

I suppose this is my take on the ‘mommy blog’- a ‘SciMom‘ blog- that I think captures all the aspects of my life- being a wife, a mother, and a scientist.

The reality of parenthood, taken 30 seconds after the first, Thanksgiving 2012

Whether it’s oncology, marriage, or parenting, I’m working on getting it all down to a science.

*Blog pseudonyms.  Mabel and Nemo were actually the nicknames we used for them when they were in utero.

A day in the life of a Scientist/Mother (#SciMom)

Curious what a typical day is like for a working scientist and mother (SciMom)?  This is a run-down of a typical Thursday for me.

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The Short Version:

Morning at home- wake, nurse Nemo, get Mabel washed up and dressed, get ready for work, kiss hubby and baby, drop Mabel at preschool, and head off to work.

Day at work- try to cure cancer, work on poster for upcoming national meeting, lunch meeting, rush home.

Evening at home- nurse baby, cook dinner, get Mabel ready for bed while Mac takes care of Nemo, read bedtime stories, sing lullabies, say prayers, tuck in Mabel, nurse Nemo, tuck in Nemo, tuck Mabel in again, and again, and again until she’s finally asleep, take 5 min for myself, go to bed.

The Long Version:

This is a typical Thursday.  Wednesdays and Thursdays are my meeting-heavy days.

Sometime between 6 and 7am:  Nemo wakes, bring him into bed and nurse.

7am: Alarm goes off, Mabel storms in (since she has one of these and isn’t technically allowed out of bed until it turns green)

7:40am:  Everyone out of bed.  Get Mabel washed up and dressed for school while Nemo plays.

Playing instead of getting ready!

8am:  Get myself ready for work while Mac gives Mabel and Nemo breakfast.

8:30am:  Head out the door.

8:45am:  Drop Mabel at preschool and head to work (as a scientist at a biotech/pharma company).

9:15am:  Drive around the parking lot praying that someone left at a random time and there is a convenient parking spot, end up parking in the boondocks.

9:20am:  Sit in the car and put on my makeup (crucial, see here).

9:30am:  Sit down at my desk.  Turn on computer.  Check emails, respond to emails, read abstracts from journal alerts, etc.  If there’s time, check my personal email, Facebook, LinkedIn, etc.  Check in with my technician regarding her experiments for that day. Grab a cup of coffee (there is never enough coffee).

10am:  Tumor Scientist Meeting- all the Oncology Department’s scientists meeting with our VP of research.  Mostly these meetings cover research topics in a lab meeting style, and we all present several times a year.  Other times these are administrative, discussing space utilization, equipment purchases, reports on interesting meetings, etc.

11:30am:  (as long as my 10am meeting doesn’t run until noon) Pump.  I’m still nursing Nemo, and I was nursing Mabel when I started this job.  Thankfully there is a well-equiped Nursing Mother’s Room right around the corner from my office.

You might be a SciMom if the luggage tags on my pump and cooler bags- freebies from conferences.

12:15pm:  Department Meeting- this is a standing lunch meeting for anyone/everyone doing oncology-related research to present their research.  Scientists and technical staff take turns presenting once a year.  It’s a great opportunity to learn what other departments are working on, and get a chance to present to people you wouldn’t otherwise get to hear from.

1:30pm:  Back to my office- read papers, analyze data, plan experiments, spend time in the lab, meet with my technician to discuss results and upcoming data, work on presentations, respond to emails.*

3pm:  Pump again.

You might be a SciMom if your nursing mother’s room has Nature Biotechnology mixed in with the parenting magazines.

3:30pm:  Coffee- either with a colleague in the kitchen, or back at my desk (If it’s at my desk, I might read non-science news, check personal email, Facebook, etc.).  Get some more work done*

5pm:  Start thinking about leaving.  Save documents, print stuff, wash my coffee cup, shut down equipment, etc.  I  don’t actually get in my car to leave until 5:20pm or later.

5:45pm:  Get home.  Wash hands.  Unpack any perishables (uneaten lunch, pumped milk, etc.), nurse Nemo while Mabel climbs on me and demands attention and Mac walks the dog (definitely looking forward to Spring and the time change, which means it’s light enough and warm enough for us to walk as a family).

6:15pm:  Start making dinner.

6:45pm:  Eat dinner.

7:15pm:  Take Mabel upstairs to get ready for bed while Nemo plays and Mac does the kitchen cleanup.

7:30pm:  Read bedtime stories with Mabel.

Bedtime stories.

7:50pm:  Sing songs (under the stars thanks to Santa) with Mabel and then tuck her in for the night.

8pm:  Nurse Nemo for as long as he stays awake.  Sometimes sit holding him for an hour just because it’s the only time of day I get to be with him without Mabel competing for my attention, and because I really miss holding him all day.

8:30pm:  Shower and get mostly ready for bed.

9pm:  Back downstairs for some time on the computer, in front of the TV, with a cup of coffee, do laundry, other chores, maybe check work emails.  Let the dog out one last time.

10:30/11pm:  Brush teeth and get to bed.  Mac and I head to bed anywhere from 10pm to midnight.  We really try to be in bed by around 10:30pm, but that seems to rarely happen.  Once in bed, we’ll read (an actual book) or spend some time on our phones (playing each other in Words with Friends, checking email, Facebook, etc.), turn them off and then have some actual conversation that isn’t interrupted by little kids.

11pm/12am:  Lights out.

12am to 7am:  Get woken up at the whims of our children for pacifiers, trips to the potty, dirty diapers, runny noses, lost blankets, snuggles, etc.  Sometimes the dog gets in on the action too and barks at a random sound or insists on being let out at 3am.  It’s never enough sleep, and it’s never uninterrupted.  Potty training and a little brother (Nemo is in our room in a pack n’ play, so I think she feels she’s missing out being in her own room) have really interfered with Mabel’s sleep- she rarely stays in her bed all night.

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So, that’s a typical Thursday.  Some evenings I head out for book club or a Mom’s Night Out, but those are only once or twice a month.  It’s never enough time, it seems.  I miss my kids desperately when I’m at work, and just can’t seem to get enough of them in the evenings.  Sometimes the bedtime routine runs long and bedtime is later and I enjoy it because it means more time with them (other times I don’t enjoy it because I need 5 minutes to myself!).

So, that’s my Thursday- a day in the life a SciMom.

The big question- have I achieved work-life balance?  The answer- it feels like it, for three reasons.

One, most days I don’t get much time with my kids; however, since they are home with Mac, I feel like they are getting all the love, attention, and nurturing they need (or at least as much as I could give them if I were the one at home).  If they were in daycare from 8:30am to 5:30pm, I’m not sure I would feel the same.

Two, Mac takes care of so much during the weekdays, that I can really focus on quality family time when I’m not at work. I know if Mac worked full-time outside the home it would mean our evenings and weekends would be swamped with errands and chores and oil changes and all the other business of life.

Three, my work is pretty flexible (both my company and my supervisor).  There are times I have to go in early or stay late, take work home, etc, but there have been more times I’ve worked from home (in bad weather), used flex time (when Mac has an on-site job), left early (for doctor’s appointments, swim class, or long weekends), or come in late (TThF when I drop Mabel at preschool).  Combine that with my company’s family-friendly events and parties several times a year that means Mac and the kids can come visit me at work, and plenty of paid holidays (hello- week off between Christmas and New Years!!) and it’s not bad.  Have I missed precious moments with my kids to be at work?  Yes.  Was it hard to be away?  Yes.  Is it unavoidable?  Yes.  Is it frequent?  Thankfully, no.  So it feels balanced.

Working from home involves Play Doh.

The day to day can seem harried and rushed, but over the long-term, it feels like it’s working out.  I’m lucky to be able to have a job I enjoy, a family I love, and a husband who loves me.

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*As I mentioned above, Thursdays are meeting-heavy, with two standing meetings.  I generally don’t plan experiments for Thursdays for that reason.  When I’m not in meetings (seminars, lab meetings, working groups, etc.), the main tasks that occupy my time are: read papers, analyze data, plan experiments, spend time in the lab, meet with my technician to discuss results and upcoming experiments, work on presentations, respond to emails, attend online seminars, administrative tasks (like approve time cards and purchase requisitions, complete online mandatory trainings, etc.).

My company has an open-door culture.  Unless people have to take a phone call or have a one-on-one meeting, doors are always open and people are always free to be interrupted.  Most of the time this is good, but sometimes it can make it hard to get stuff done (I never have more people come to my office than when I’m attending an online seminar!).  So I’m routinely interrupted by my technician who has a question or needs a hand with something in the lab or my supervisor who has something to tell me.

How a family grows

This is somewhat belated, but inspired by Kelly’s Show Us Your Life topic this week, I decided to post it.

Perhaps it’s the scientist in me, but I like to document things, particularly with photos.  I love to see the changes over time.  I love to look back and remember- recording things as we go.

I posted last year about Mac and I taking an annual anniversary photo, here.

We did it again this year, over Columbus Day weekend, so here is the updated version!

Our family, 2008 to 2012

The largest photo was taken on our property in the Catskills on our wedding day in late September 2008.  We’ve taken a picture in that same spot each year since to document our growing family.

In 2009, I was pregnant with Mabel on our first anniversary.  In 2010 Mabel was in the picture with us.  In 2011, I was just a few weeks pregnant with Nemo.  This year, our fourth anniversary, we had Mabel and Nemo with us!

I love looking back.  Wonder what next year’s photo will capture!

Out of the mouths of babes: Dinosaurs don’t make beds

The other day Mabel picked out a book from the library about Tyrannosaurus Rex.  It’s a little old for her:  too long, non-fiction, and lots of bloody meat hanging out of gaping jowls over bloody corpses.  She asks a lot of questions about what the dinosaurs are doing, why T. rex is biting the other dinosaurs, etc.

Let’s just say it’s no Brontorina Ballerina.

There was a section in the book about how tiny the T. rex’s arms were in comparison to the rest of its body.  Despite its enormity, T. rex’s arms were about the size of human arms.  Apparently (at least at the time of the writing of that book) scientists were speculating that the arms helped T. rex get up off the ground (since they couldn’t reach its mouth to help it eat).

In any case, Mabel asks to be read the book, and doesn’t seem to be having nightmares, so that’s fine.

Today I saw the following image on my Facebook feed from IFLS:

Source: IFLS

I shared it with Mac, and asked him to show it to Mabel.

Her response:   ”That’s silly. Dinosaurs don’t make beds! Is that his home?”

The concise analysis of a 3 year old.  Dinosaurs don’t make beds, but they may live in houses.

Happy (Nerdy) Valentine’s Day!

Source.

Source: IFLS

And because no Valentine’s Day post would be complete without some actual, scientific, love-related facts, check out Chris Gunter’s post over on Double X Science- “Dating research update.”  Turns out the old adage “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?” was right.  ”Haste in having sex in a new relationship was associated with an “eroding pattern of relationship satisfaction, stability, and positive communication as relationship length increased.” (Source)

To see last year’s nerdy Valentine’s and love-related science (including the origins of kissing and why some songs make us cry), click here.

“Working from home”

Friday, Monday, and Tuesday I ‘worked from home.’  Here is a picture of how I accomplished some work (Play-Doh was involved):

Work from home is in quotes because I really didn’t get terribly much work done.  Thankfully it’s more like a combination of flextime, paid time off, and actual working at home.  I put in a couple of hours each day (including Thursday night, Saturday, and Sunday) and I’ll make up more time by staying later the rest of this week.  Whatever hours I couldn’t do/make up, I will take as paid time off.

Why was I ‘working from home?’  Because Mac had an on-site free-lance gig in Jersey and my boss okayed the arrangement.

I enjoyed it immensely.

 While I appreciate that there might be some novelty and a little ‘grass is always greener’ going on here, it just re-enforced my position that being a stay at home mom is like being on vacation.

Doesn’t this look like fun?

I took Mabel to school.  Ran errands with Nemo.  Snuggled.  Played doctor (see toe injection and bandage above) and hide n’ seek (photos coming soon as Mabel chose the most adorable hiding place).

Confused a groundhog for an Ewok (before Mac solved that problem, see below).

Image on the left is before: Looks like an Ewok, right? It’s supposed to be a groundhog for Groundhog Day that Mabel made at school. Image on the right is after: What Mac did when he saw the first picture on FB.

It was awesome and I’m torn.  I wish I could stay home every day, but I know that if I did, I probably wouldn’t be able to enjoy it as much.

So, now we’re back to our normal routine.  Mac is home, I’m at work.  A part of each of us wishes it was the other way around.

(Kinda) Wordless Wednesday: Snowy Day

I’ve been enjoying our almost-daily sprinkling of snow.  It’s enough to dust the ground and the car, but doesn’t impede travel or require clearing.  I don’t remember weather like this in many years- with nearly constant snow on the ground.

Mabel has been enjoying it too (see below).

We were rushing to get in the car to go to school, but I really just could not help but stop and admire her making tracks in the snow.  It was definitely one of those scenes in the movie of your life when you imagine the camera capturing the poignant scene.

I stopped rushing her, and just watched her, nay, admired her.  She is a joyful child.  Pity I’m going to screw her up.*

*As my Nana always said- with every talk show sob story or criminal with a troubled childhood- “It’s always the mother’s fault.” See here for my hopes and aspirations as a mom distilled into a few sentenced.

My Christmas Gift 2012

There are some really obvious perks to having a husband who is a professional video editor.  When you combine that with a professional voice over artist who is the godfather of your children, things get even better.  Add in more friends, cute kids, lots of photos and videos, and you get my Christmas gift for this year from Mac.

To see last year’s Christmas video, see here.

And to see my 30th birthday present, see here.